Life to the Fullest

I'm definitely in that lovely second trimester time. You know that time where everything in one day is possible; like swimming a mile, gardening, reading, playing piano, making hot and sour soup with the hubs from scratch... Yes life is good. I met with a sweet friend today over tea to (kind of) celebrate "leap year". We talked about life and promised to never change all our profile pictures to just pictures of our children. I expressed my thoughts that I've been having during this peak time of pregnancy. I do not want to be one of those moms who lose themselves in their child's world, who give up hobbies and try to live vicariously through their children. I know it's easy to do, and I've seen it happen, not with just moms but dads and even other family members can do it too. The best gift I can give, to myself, to my children, and to my children's children, is to be a woman who has her passions and wits about her.
 Pregnancy can be very uncomfortable and unkind to the body if you do not stretch and exercise moderately. Just swimming a mile 3 days a week has been so beneficial to my health. I could've easily complained and just given into the whole "poor me" mentality and demanded that Mark become my personal massage therapist. However, when my body starts feeling achy from my little growing baby, a nice long swim does the trick. Plus my husband appreciates the fact that I'm taking care of myself. I'm so grateful that I have a husband who supports my hobbies. I love that he gets excited when I get excited about planting seeds. He doesn't lose himself in me and my hobbies though, he has some of his own, making music and running have been some of his strongest. He also loves to cook these days and I love watching him get immersed in a recipe. I don't feel threatened by any of his pursuits, in fact I love to sit back and enjoy him becoming a more fulfilled version of himself, exploring and experiencing the many different blessings we can here on earth. He explained it clearly to me one time when I worried that I was spending too much money on myself (a gym membership costs a whole 41$ a month). He said that taking care of myself was a gift to him, whether I am writing a song or swimming a mile.
My relationship with my husband has taught me a lot about boundaries, with myself as well as with each other. I remember thinking when we first started dating, "wow, this is an amazing man who lives life to the fullest." I was (am) attracted to every single thing about him, there wasn't (and isn't) anything I would change. His humor, his intellect, his handsomeness, his musical heart... You can imagine how easily it would've been to lose oneself in such a prince and it was definitely tempting. But if I had, I would've also had to say goodbye to "happily ever after". Mark didn't fall in love with me because of my love for him, he loves me for who I am and who God has created me to be. I owe it to him, and more importantly to myself, to keep pursuing life to the fullest. Every big change can seem daunting at first. Right before we were married my silly mind wondered what I would have to give up. Could I still write songs? Would I REALLY be able to make a long grocery list for the week and plan out meals? I didn't have cold feet at all but I was scared of the unknown. All that seems silly now because nothing really changed. I mean, some awesome things did, like the fact that we have a perpetual sleep over for life and that we don't have to say goodbye just "see you later!" We even write and record music together and are still learning to share our individual hobbies. Now with this baby arriving in t-minus 17 weeks we have some similar questions. How much will change? People look at us with those "knowing smiles" that seem to say, "oh you're in for it". But I think Mark and I will make a great team. The adjustment into marriage wasn't a tough one, we seemed to fill in the holes that each other needed and I imagine with God's help a baby will be similar in that sense. We have to take things a day at a time. (It also helps to know that I have a baby whisperer for a husband. He is a natural with children.) I know that as we embark on this next chapter we will have to remember that we are working ourselves out of a job. If we do that job right, our children will have a healthy sense of self-confidence and seek what God has for them, and it will also be our job to learn how to sit back and watch them find their passions and hobbies. We won't be able to take credit for their successes just like we can't take on the responsibility for their mistakes. It may be that they move across the world or that that they'll remain in the same town that we live. It will be up to them to establish healthy boundaries with themselves and with the ones they love. This may sound funny, but I don't think of this baby as mine at all, I actually have been thinking of this little guy as a "borrowed person" that I am in charge of teaching and loving. My husband and I are both entrusted with loving this little guy and helping him grow into the man he's supposed to be. What I want to remember most during this time is that Mark and I have so many blessings in each other. I love my best friend and want my children to know that he comes first. I hope to be the kind of mother that sets up healthy boundaries now so that he knows how loved he is and especially how loved his daddy is. I hope that our marriage is a healthy example and the he can honestly say that he was proud of the wife and mother I was while he was under our roof. I know this is the best gift I can give.