Things to Remember (Part 1)

I've decided to write a blog about the first 3 months. This blog will most likely end up being a special love letter to myself to look back and remember things I discovered along the way and that I hopefully won't freak out about again...

Pregnancy/Delivery:

• get out of the house and walk whenever you can. 
• consider buying a king size bed. I'm serious.
• remember, being pregnant is very beautiful (even with all those stretch marks)
• To read books or not to read books, that is the question. While it is good to be informed, keep everything in perspective. Use information as a loose guide instead of the rule.
• If you're thinking about cloth diapering consider waiting until after the first couple weeks. This allows time to adjust to a lot of other new things. Plus you do not need to do laundry right now.
• it would be VERY surprising if delivery went as you expected
• don't feel pressured to have visitors in the hospital, you're even allowed to wait until after the birth to decide.
• Keep spending time with the lactation consultant (especially with your first baby), these services are free at the hospital and convenient.

Month 1:

• rest, rest, REST!-everyone told me to do it. I literally went a little crazy without sleep, but when I finally napped when O did, sanity returned.
• Remember, YOU are an amazing mom and no one can be a mother to that baby like YOU can! (especially when you rest) Hormones are deceiving.
• Hang out with other new moms. Join a new-parent group in town or talk to moms who have just gone through that new baby stage. You'll find that you're not alone. 
• Try to avoid bragging about your baby. This will scare moms away.
• When your baby is fussy, it's not because he is starving, it's most likely that your baby is tired/overtired. I was always afraid I was starving O even if I fed him 10 minutes before. 99% of the time he just needed a nap.
• Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle that baby to help him/her get to sleep and to stay asleep. For the first 3 months they don't understand that their arms and legs are attached to their body. 
• Timing is different for every baby, but the sleepy stage goes away fast.
• Your baby is NEVER bored. You can talk, sing, dance with your baby and you can also let him/her stare out the window. This is the first time that he has seen the world! Nothing is more exciting than the ceiling fan at this point. (Well, your face is actually pretty exciting.) 
• Your face. Yes it can be a bit much. One minute your baby is looking into your eyes and the next minute he is crying. Give him a break. He loves you but he cannot take all that stimulation for too long.
• Nursing is not as easy as it seems (maybe it will be easier the second time around?). Your baby is not an expert either, so don't forget it's a learning curve and give both you and your baby some time to get the hang of things.
• Set up a second changing station in the living room and a cozy nursing station with nursing pillow and your favorite television shows/movies close. Nursing takes a long time in the beginning.
• Hosting is not an obligation. Friends and family will understand if you need some weeks to adjust.
• Try not to look ahead too much. It's tempting to find out "when will my baby start smiling, talking, walking..." then all of a sudden your baby is past this special stage and you regret all that time of dreaming too far into the future. Cherish this time because it will be a complete blur.
• The only routine you should strive for at this point is Eat, Awake/Activity, Sleep. Keeping things in that order makes life much easier down the road.
• I didn't understand people who said that they loved nursing. I kind of resented being stuck to my living room couch every 2 hours. Once we reached 10 weeks of nursing, Owen started smiling at me during those quiet moments. It made all my nursing frustrations melt away and I began to understand those people.
• When you reach 4 weeks, plan a celebratory pedicure or something of that nature (feed baby, give baby some daddy time while you get some YOU time. ) You did it!

Month 2:

• Hooray! You made it! -honestly, at 6 weeks things did seem a little bit easier.
• Wear that baby! Keeping baby close the first couple months allowed me to do a little bit more and helped O feel secure. I've used the Moby, Ergo, and Bjorn. I like the first two. Moby for the first 3 months and the Ergo for months 4 and on.
• Study your baby and you may find that he is settling into a schedule. At 2 months O was eating every 3 hours and then sleeping longer at night. 
• Don't be surprised that after an hour of being awake that baby is ready to crash.
• The ceiling fan is still very popular.
• Nursing changes. Your body adjusts a lot in the first couple months to take care of baby. It will take awhile to stabilize and a lot of moms think that they've lost their supply at 3 months. This is typically not true; the only way to tell is your baby's weight gain. If she stops gaining then that is generally a sign that something's up. Talk to a lactation consultant before giving up because there are SO many factors to nursing issues.
• If you have a big baby (O was 9.2 at birth) you may be interested in moving baby out of the bassinet and into a crib. No pressure either way.
• Tummy time usually starts around here. It's important to do even if your baby dislikes it. He will eventually love it.
• Get out of the house for short trips. If the weather is nice, go for daily walks in the stroller. They say babies are better sleepers when they get outside time every day. Bring a blanket too!
• Smiles may be more genuine now. You may be lucky and actually experience some giggles too.
• Sometimes O needed a lot of help getting to sleep for naps. First I would place him in his crib. If he fussed I would hold/rock him for a minute or two and place him back in his crib while his eyes were partially open. He would generally fall straight to sleep.
• Earplugs are awesome. I'm not talking about using them to read your favorite book while your baby is wailing away in the nursery. I'm talking about using them while comforting an overtired baby in the first couple months. Sometimes O would get to what we would call "the point of no return." The only solution was to hold him close to the body, rock him, and gently tell him that it was time for a nap. He would fall asleep within minutes. Having earplugs in allowed me to hear everything at a level that kept me calm. When I was calm I found that he fell asleep faster than when I was tense or nervous that he would never fall asleep. 

Month 3

lovely hair loss 

• At the end (or at the beginning) of this month you may start losing your hair; don't panic, it will come back. 
• Your baby still needs lots of naps. At the end of this month O was ready to go to 2 big naps and one catnap around 5:00 PM.
• Some days you'll have perfect naps and you'll feel like you're in heaven. Other days are quite the opposite. Don't take it personally, just do the best you can. Try not to over medicate with chocolate.
• Swaddling may seem trickier but is still necessary. We used the "double swaddle" at this point. (youtube it)
• Going out in the morning seemed easier than going out in the evening. 
• If Owen was really fussy in the afternoon (some call this the witching hour), it was most likely because he was overtired. If he had consistent naps throughout the day, I found that this fussy time to be completely eliminated. Remember, sleep begets sleep.
• Keep an eye on your baby whenever he is lying in a bassinet or on the bed. Rolling happens when you least expect it.
• Baths are really exciting. You don't have to bathe your baby every day but it is something that Owie loves.
• Someone told me that things get even easier at the end of 3 months, and they did. O seemed easier to read.
• At 10 weeks I finally felt that we had nursing down. O would nurse about 6 times a day, sometimes less and sometimes more. 

Books that may help you survive
1. The Happiest Baby on the Block

2. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

3. The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems